Lowered Expectations

Something has been on my mind for the last couple of weeks. It’s been weighing very heavily…so heavily that I haven’t been able to shape my thoughts enough around the subject to begin writing. And it’s not something super serious, but it’s something super important. I get my inspiration for my posts in the most random moments, and if a word is swirling around in my head for more than a couple of days, I know that it’s something I have to get my thoughts down on. My word over the last few weeks? Disappointment.

The older I get, and the more life experiences I have, the more I realize how much faith we need to STOP putting in people. Well, let me rephrase that: maybe not faith, but expectations. I think we have to stop expecting so much from people and their actions. This isn’t a bitter or contrite post; quite the contrary. It’s more so one of my epiphany moments. I realized that I was expecting so much from imperfect people – imperfect people like myself. Even when I didn’t know what I wanted or how I felt, I was still expecting others to know what they wanted and how they felt. And I understand now that those expectations are a heavy load for anyone to carry around.

Just because you would behave a certain way in a given situation, doesn’t necessarily mean that someone else will do the same. We all have that inherent “me me me” complex of assuming that our way is always the right way, and we expect others to do things the way we want them to. We tend to have very limited tolerance of accepting anything less than what we want, especially when we’re emotionally immature. I have a secret though, one that I’ve learned throughout the years: it’s really not about you.

Once you really let that statement and mindset resonate with you, you’ll stop putting so much effort into trying to change others into your mini-clone. You’ll begin to learn to respect their thoughts and feelings and views, and you’ll start meeting them where they are, instead of where you think they should be. Most importantly, you won’t get hurt so easily, because you’re not creating unrealistic assumptions surrounding your interactions with them. It is such a freeing experience, to accept others for who they uniquely are. And the moment you begin lowering your expectations, that’s the moment you lower the chances of enduring heartbreak and disappointment.