You ever struggle with wondering whether or not the positive energy you’re attempting to send out into the universe is being received? Or that what you’re creating isn’t just for your eyes, ears, or mouth only? Sometimes it’s difficult to ascertain whether or not you’re making a difference, and in today’s society, almost everything is done for likes and public approval. It’s human nature to want to feel needed and valued, to feel validated. The only issue with that is, once you stop creating for yourself and start creating for people, you slowly lose the essence and core of who you are as a person. You start to become a producer of sorts, in which you’re solely serving the needs of others and not yourself.
Okay, where am I going with this? For me, when I started my blog so many years ago, it was because I needed an outlet to express all of my thoughts. It was great to write it all down on paper, but it seemed a lot easier to post it out for the world to see. Back then, it didn’t matter to me whether or not someone was going to read it, or care about what I had to say – I was just happy that I was able to get it out and send it somewhere. After a while, people began to comment and tell me how much they enjoyed it, and along the way, I started to feel pressure to perform. My readers didn’t put this pressure on me; rather, I wanted to make sure that I was serving a purpose. I wanted to make sure they all valued my words, and as a result, didn’t want to post anything unless I felt like it would make an impact. You know what happens when you put limitations like that on your creations? You start to become a slave to the process, and you run the risk of putting out content that isn’t as reflective of you as it used to be. For me personally, I started to become stunted in my growth as a writer, almost frozen.
I found myself caring more about whether or not people shared my posts, whether they read them, whether they cared. And of course, we all want people to care about whatever it is we’re creating. But when it becomes a dependency, do you begin to lose the authenticity of it? When I got up the other day and began writing, and when I charged myself with writing every day (no matter how I felt), it felt like I was coming back to myself. I was once again remembering why I decided to do this, and I felt motivated to continue. Today I logged on to write again – maybe this post, but more so, anything that came to mind – and found a wonderful comment on my last post. It was another writer, telling me that what I had written was exactly what she needed to hear. I don’t care if she shares that post, or tells anyone about it – I almost considered not posting her comment publicly – but she further confirmed for me that what I’m doing is meaningful. It may not be that way for everyone, and I may not gain popularity or social media fame for what I’m doing, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll take authenticity over mindlessly producing any day. What about you? Are you creating for the love of it, or for the “luv” for it?